Living Understanding Pt. 17: Search me

Psalm 139:1-12                      1You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. 2You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. 5You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

Psalm 139:23-24                    23Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Romans 8:38-39                    38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I wrote recently about the meaning of being ‘called by God’.  I pointed out it wasn’t a summons to do something as much as simply a drawing by him to come into relationship.  It is easy to think that “there’s no way God would want to spend time with a person as sinful as I am” yet that is exactly what God wants to do.  We are his created children; those of us who have kids understand this.  My kids are old (the oldest is 54 in 2023) and still I find myself wondering what she is doing and so call just to check in.

It is the same thing for God.  He wants to spend time with us; he wants to love us and be loved by us.  That is what this Psalm is about:  God’s ubiquity and God’s faithfulness.

You have searched me

As human parents we know our children in many ways.  We have raised them, know their idiosyncrasies, discern their body language, and generally have them figured out.  We know what depresses them and what excites them, and as they become adults our kids even become our friends and we enjoy spending time with them.  It is all this and much more with God, but he doesn’t have to depend on visual clues like body language to understand what is going on with us.  He knows our thoughts.

But this sort of Godly understanding of our hearts is kind of intimidating, isn’t it?  We like to think that there are certain things about our lives that are private, and I’m not talking about negative things.  We are used to our thoughts being private; knowing that God knows them is a little unsettling.  Early on in my Christian walk I struggled with this understanding, but later began to realize it is not such a bad thing.  The reason is that there is no pretense with God.  I rather like that there can be no posturing or artificiality with Him.  If he knows everything anyway, what do I think I’m doing by pretending there are no unexpressed ugly thoughts or vengeful intentions in my heart.

You hem me in

And it is reassuring to know that God loves us in spite of the sin going on in our minds.  Hem is an Old English word of Germanic origin which isn’t used much anymore except in relation to providing an edge to a garment.  The other meaning refers to placing a restrictive border around something.  In the context of this verse it means to limit a person’s wanton behavior in such a way as to limit negative consequence.  I, for one, am really attracted to the idea that God protects me from both outside and inside negative actions.  He stops attacks from the world, and also gently intercedes to dissuade us from our more egregious thoughts.  I am prone to vengeful thinking when someone wrongs me and it is best if I get rid of those thoughts as quickly as possible.

If I rise on the wings of dawn

So what is the point in trying to escape from God?  He loves us so much that he won’t let us run away, and in fact, so loves us so much that he protects us from ourselves. 

What about me?

The reason I love this Psalm so much is that it ends on such a prayerful, hopeful tone.  I don’t want to run away from God, even though at one time in my life I did so with great vigor.  No, I want to draw close to him, but even more so I want to present myself to him.  And I want no hindrance in my heart which may interfere.  So when David says, “Create in me a clean heart…..and lead me in the way everlasting”, my heart really resonates.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. (2Timothy 2:15)

Doing one’s best does not mean that one automatically succeeds.  We all have failures in our lives, and my believing friend, maybe you are experiencing one right now.  Believe it or not, God wants to help you through it.  Satan wants you to wallow in it though.  He will lie to you saying things like, “God doesn’t really care,” or, “You’re such a pathetic wreck!”  Satan is a liar!  Ask God to help you rid yourself of the offensive ways.  He knows the anxious thoughts and understands the worries, but he won’t override your free will.  You must go to him.

7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you.  (James 4:7-8)

Remember this one thing, while you were yet a sinner, Jesus gave his life for you.  You are valuable to him!