The Nature of Sin, Pt 14: Forgiveness

Psalm 103:12                         12as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Proverbs 28:13                      13Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Isaiah 1:18                             18“Come now, let us settle the matter,” “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

Matthew 6:14-15                  14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 6:37                              37“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Ephesians 4:31-32               31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Colossians 3:13                    13Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

I have occasionally heard it said that the perfect marriage is the union of those two persons who are uniquely designed by God to help each other learn how to forgive.  Most human beings are not hermits.  In fact, in the Middle ages monks tried withdrawing from society to escape sin only to discover their own sin nature followed them into retreat.  Thus they escaped nothing.  Most of us are in relationships of one kind or another, and even the most devout of individuals will occasionally cause hurt or offense to someone.  So each of us must learn how to forgive if we are to interact with anybody.

Of course the ultimate defeat of sin lies at the foot of the Cross.  At the beginning of time God knew He would be sending His Son to heal humanity through his willing sacrifice.  By the shedding of his innocent blood Jesus healed each of us who accept him as our Savior, and so as each of us do that we have access to Jesus for all eternity.  So God requires that we, who have received such a grand forgiveness of our own personal sin, must offer that same forgiveness to those who hurt us.  Let’s think about this for a minute.  The very basis of our faith is forgiveness.  Forgiveness is the one and only solution offered by God for sin.  There is no other; if we don’t accept it, there is no other option.  And it is important to realize that our own spiritual health is directly connected to our willingness to forgive those who have sinned against us.

I have been involved in small group ministry for a long time, even decades.  I have learned about forgiveness, but I have to admit that I am not at the end of that journey.  Case in point:  About seven years ago my wife and I were having a prayer meeting in our home.  We had separated the men and women into separate groups.  Shortly after the prayer had begun a young woman came into the men’s area screaming and yelling about how my wife and I were horrible leaders and that she would never be back.  What had happened is not important; my response is.  The next day I sent her an email saying I thought it a good idea that she not come back, that I forgave her, but that she had crossed a line, and that I didn’t want to associate with her anymore.  Her response was that forgiveness doesn’t work that way.  She was right.

Jesus once told a story that describes this kind of situation.  It is found in Matthew 18.  Apparently someone had been dumping on Peter.  Several times in fact, and Peter was getting fed up with it.  The Rabbis in those days taught that after forgiving someone three time for the same offense a person could get even.  But Peter thought that seemed a little harsh, so I’ll forgive seven times.  After all, seven is the perfect number.  He was feeling a little proud of himself when he went to Jesus with the story.  Jesus’ answer was a shocker!

Matthew 18:21-22                 21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.

The point is that when Jesus forgave our sins he paid the ultimate price.  We too must forgive from the heart permanently.  The idea is not to have an attitude about it but to truly forgive.  And that forgiveness is a one-way street.  There is no quid pro quo.  I remember one time after a service had just finished a person came to be to say, “I want you to know I forgive you.”  I had no idea what the offense had been.  But true forgiveness was not in that person’s heart.  True forgiveness doesn’t require that the other person know about it.  It must be pure, true, and internal.

Now I suppose there are ones reading this who will ask, “How do I go about doing that?”  In answer, I remind that forgiveness is not an emotion.  It is a choice.  That young woman I mentioned earlier comes back into my life occasionally and I think it is God reminding me to choose to forgive.  Honestly, I don’t want the consequences of failing to forgive.  First, I don’t want to hypocritically accept God’s forgiveness and then refuse to forgive others.  But second, I don’t want the physical results of unforgiveness.  It is much easier to sleep at night knowing I have nothing against anyone or they against me.  It is easier not having to plan revenge, or not having to lie to cover up some other lie.  Before I came to know Jesus, I used to do both things.

Now I admit forgiveness is hard.  When that young woman embarrassed me in front of my friends I never wanted to see or talk to her again.  I had not truly, or purely, or internally forgiven.  I did lie awake thinking how I could get even.  But God didn’t let me stay there.  I had to make the choice.  Then the thoughts would return, and I had to make the choice again.  Gradually the memories faded, and I think I can say I have truly forgiven, but God brings her back in my life to remind me of the necessity of forgiveness.  Maybe it is the ‘thorn in my side’.

Forgiveness is always appropriate even when the offender refuses to repent.  As individuals, we cannot ‘fix’ the whole world.  But we can fix our own little world.  We can allow wellness to enter our soul and we can model Christ.  Actually, that’s quite a lot isn’t it?

Something to think about:

 To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. (Lewis B. Smedes)