Trusting God In My Relationships
Last week, we talked briefly about ways we can practice trusting God and we mentioned there are seven common areas in which we can do that. For the next seven weeks let’s talk about those areas.
The first area we can practice trusting God is with our friends. I imagine most of us have several friends primarily falling into two kinds: Those we seemingly have had forever that we can’t imagine not having in our lives, and those who seem to flit in and out of our lives at random. Have you ever thought why that is?
Social relationships are tricky territory. People are complex, have attitudes, desires, and ambitions, and have feelings that easily get hurt. And if that is not hard enough to navigate, they also seem to say one thing and do another. To further complicate things we are people too. Look at it this way. If two people are interacting here’s what happens: A thought originates with one person, has to get formulated in that person, get filtered through the mind and emotions of that person, get properly vocalized and sent to the other person. The other person subconsciously does everything in reverse: he hears, he filters, he tries to understand. At any step in the process something can go wrong, some misunderstanding can occur, some body language interfere, and the whole communication can go awry.
Is there any wonder then that we need to allow God to guide us through our relationships? I would imagine that when one individual has some kind of relationship with a person of the opposite gender the underlying question might often be, “Is this the one?” Romantic relationships are a sub-set of relationships in general, and the basic question should always be, “How does God see this person?” The trap in human relationships is that they are often self-serving. Whether we realize it or not, we are often asking ourselves, “What can I get out of this relationship?” In Godly relationships the question is always, “How can I help that other person?” Consider Proverbs 3:5-6 which says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” This is saying we should allow God access to all areas of our lives at a deep level. What does that mean with regard to relationships?
According to various studies the average person can have up to 150 casual friends, 50 friends, 15 close friends, and 5 intimate (not necessarily sexual) bonds. The difference in these categories is the degree to which a person lets God direct their interactions. The interesting thing is that God actually tells us how to be a good friend:
Meet frequently Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Be authentic Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Be mature Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one, ……If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, ……so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Be courteous Romans 14:1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.
1Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor [your leaders].
Have sympathy Colossians 3:12-13 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Romans 15:1-2 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.
Be humble Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
James 4:6 God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.
Be honest Proverbs 28:23 Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.
1Timothy 5:1-2 Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
Be merciful Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Maintain confidentiality Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
Have unity of purpose 1Corinthians 1:10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.
All of these attributes have in common the placing of the other’s interests first. Here is where the rubber meets the road: Trusting God in friendships or anything else for that matter means letting God place His values within us.
Next week we’ll talk about trusting God in our marriages.